Identity Crises at Institutions of Higher Learning

I am a proud graduate of Boalt Hall School of Law. (A proud graduate who made it through the seemingly interminable three-year slog to find herself well over $100,000 in debt…) For those of you who do not know, Boalt Hall is – was – among the finest law schools in the country. It produced a truly impressive list of academics, writers, attorneys, and judges, including no less than former United States Chief Justice Earl Warren. (Let’s not forget notable faculty members, as well, such as William Prosser and the always controversial John Yoo.)

In April 2008, Boalt officially changed its name to “UC Berkeley School of Law” – apparently so that the uninformed masses would associate the Law School with the prestigious University of California at Berkeley. I personally disliked the changes. In my view, anyone whose opinion mattered knew exactly what Boalt Hall was, and what a degree from Boalt Hall meant. (Rude, I know. But you read this blog because you know I’m going to give it to you straight without worrying about whether I'm polite, or whether I hurt your feelings.)

Boalt’s decision, however, has become a disturbing trend. I have recently learned from a very reliable source that my beloved undergraduate institution, Southwestern University – a truly excellent, small, liberal arts school in Georgetown, Texas – is considering a name change. Apparently, the powers that be think “Southwestern” sounds too regional… (Um, DUH!)

The schools that I attended simply must stop changing their names! Are they trying to distance themselves from me? Make potential future employers think my credentials are fake??? Do my diplomas still count?

Listen up, Southwestern University: There is only one way to make this right. (And remember, I donate like $200 a year, and I’m going to be paying off my student loans for the next several decades…) If you’re going to change your name, you have to name the school after me. CaC Polytechnic… the CaC Institute for Intellectual Awesomeness... or maybe just CaC University…

OK, how about at least slapping my name on a building?